In my mind it was always the best miracle. What made it best? It wasn’t just for people from my church. All my school friends knew about Jesus feeding a hungry crowd of 5,000 people (not counting women and children) with five loaves of bread and two fish. Local reporters claimed there were twelve whole baskets of leftovers. Two thousand years later the world is still telling the story and it continues to capture the thinking of people most of whom never went to church. Probably all my readers have heard it, too. Imagine the miracles it took for that to happen!! Ever since, believers, doubters, preachers, teachers, students, and professional debaters have argued this way over the event:
Belief #1: An all-powerful God did it from nothing.
Belief #2: Human beings did it with what they had.
Somewhere in between are those who think it is a made up story.
Good Day! Welcome to the Sunday Message.
In the biblical history of what happened before the miracle, Jesus chose his disciples and they spent time in boats and villages. When his cousin, John, baptized him, some followers sensed this was God’s son. They went from place to place listening to the rabbi/teacher explain better ways to live together. Their numbers grew. Some traveled for days hoping for just a touch if it could heal them. Others favored the parables, the earthly stories with heavenly meaning. Jesus knew how to make ordinary examples into life changing lessons. By the way, the definition of a parable always reminds me I don’t want to be known as so heavenly minded I’m no earthly good!!
One day Jesus went out to sea to relax but crowds followed so he spoke from a boat. The miracle occurred at the end of what turned out to be a very emotional day for Jesus. Everyone was exhausted and hungry, even Jesus, when the news came of John the Baptist’s beheading. You can read the full account here.
Imagine! Just prior to what I thought was the most amazing event in Jesus’ ministry, all he wanted to do was get away from everyone to connect with his own spiritual support system. All these years of hearing the story told of Jesus feeding the 5,000 why did I never hear anyone mention its juxtaposition to Jesus’ most devastating loss since his childhood? His cousin John, probably of all cousins the closest to Jesus had just been cruelly tortured and was dead. Who could blame Jesus for bolting?
All the disciples pleaded with him to send away the crowd before it was too late for everyone to find something to eat, but Jesus urged them to go find food for them. I assume they were obviously irritated after journeying around with this unusual leader who had few fans in the village of his birth. They must have reminded him they had just spent days roaming along the shore, bouncing in boats trying to stay afloat in the sea’s waves, and finding their way through villages where they had never before dared to go; however, Jesus decided not to leave the people who still wanted to hear more from him.
Normally you would be reading or listening to this event as an isolated story. It is important now that you know of its place in context to keep his tragic loss in mind and see Jesus as a grief stricken human being. He was trying to help the world learn how to share uncontrolling love with its neighbors but suffering from what was the complete opposite done to his cousin. Needing nothing more than to give up for at least the day, he did not. He was drained of everything left within him; yet he stayed to take the next steps in front of him.
Let me remind you. I do not believe Jesus was acting according to a moment by moment plan for his life that day. He did not HAVE to stay there. He did not know there was a miracle ahead if he remained among the people. He was like us. It takes a combination of who we are, what we do, blending with the environment all around us for the good things to happen. As we respond to our thoughts, our instincts, what I call the whispers on the wind, and step into the next obvious moment willingly, we are – remember? – part of the answer to our prayers and those of others.
I tell this particular story of Jesus to remind my friends, and now my new sub stack church community not to give up right before your part in what is about to happen if you stay. There is a second story of the bread and fish I tell for exactly the same reason. Read closely…
One Sunday morning in a simple ten minute dramatic presentation of Belief #3 (what Pastor Gloria thinks happened), members of the adult and children’s choirs in the church formed a backdrop surrounding the crowd of Jesus followers. As the disciples wandered over the platform despairing of finding something for people to eat, one little boy stepped from the children’s choir planning to speak his carefully practiced line to a disciple, “Jesus can have mine,” as written by the director, and offer his two fish and five loaves of bread.
I knew the little actor was nervous. He had practiced for weeks. As it came time to speak, he turned terrified eyes toward me (I was the director) and shook his head very gently. He couldn’t remember his line. “Jesus can have mine,” I mouthed slowly. He stood frozen. I repeated, “Jesus can have mine,” and nodded an encouraging nudge. His eyes quickened to the left and to the right. His lines were gone.
I imagine he felt like the disciples when they pleaded with Jesus, “Can’t this be over now? Just send the crowds home.” Wanting to sink into the floor, he must have considered balking to escape embarrassment as he tried desperately to recall his lines. But he didn’t. Like Jesus he might have been grief stricken over what felt to him like the most dreadful loss in his young life, forgetting the concluding lines of the part he was to play in a very special story. If only he could have escaped living through the next moment.
I had taught my kids in the choir they could never ruin anything if they practiced and were doing their best, as long as they did not quit. You keep on doing what is in the next step before you to take. That is when I decided to be the example of what I always taught my choirs, performers, and nervous students to do for courage. I looked him straight in the eyes and I stood tall. Taking a deep breath, I looked forward again…. and I smiled. Then turning my head and pointing my eyes toward the disciple standing next to him and watched as he did the only thing left he could do. This young boy adlibbed the best line I ever heard, “But – but – Do you think it will be enough?” and he handed over everything he had to the waiting disciple to share with the crowd.
I will never forget the lesson I learned that Sunday morning. Although I had yet to understand Jesus set us an example moments before the feeding of the 5,000 (plus women and children), I was moved to tears by a young boy in the children’s choir asking the question for all of us who doubt ourselves because we fear we are not the best one for what is before us to do. But, but, will it be enough? Here is all I have.
Of course it will be enough. Just do not give up right before your part in the miracle. Be the partner needed to help answer the prayers, the needs of those around you. Remember, you can never be the wrong person in a good place if you are doing your best, as long as you don’t quit. You keep on doing what is in the next step before you. Never give up before the good work is done.
This is Pastor Gloria signing off, taking a deep breath, looking forward, and smiling. I wish the same for all of you!